Speaking of conspiracies...

...here's an obvious one: "Congratulations, you may now kiss yourself."

TAIPEI (Reuters) – Chen Wei-yih has posed for a set of photos in a flowing white dress, enlisted a wedding planner and rented a banquet hall for a marriage celebration with 30 friends.

But there is no groom. Chen will marry herself.

Uninspired by the men she's met but facing social pressure to get married, the 30-year-old Taipei office worker will hold the reception next month in honor of just one person.

"Age thirty is a prime period for me. My work and experience are in good shape, but I haven't found a partner, so what can I do?" Chen said.

Clearly the manufacturers of census forms and drop-down menus are concerned about rising costs per unit, and have begun campaigning to remove "single" as a marital status option. The best business ideas are often the simplest: make everyone married, thereby removing "single" as a selectable option. Leaving only

"married"
"divorced"
"separated"
"widowed"
"missing"
"it's complicated"
"prefer not to disclose"
"other"

as options. It's basic math.

Of course, their astroturf tactics are to be commended -- so many great things begin in Taiwan! But now they've been exposed. If you never hear from me again, expect the worst. Trust no one. Sign up for as many things as you can as an unmarried person. Or else the terrorists win.

Top four sentences from this Yahoo News (Reuters) item:

1. "I think there will be more and more girls like this," said "divagirl," who did not elaborate.
2. "If I had a steady boyfriend, I wouldn't do this," Chen said. "it would be offensive to him, anyway."
3. "I was just hoping that more people would love themselves," said Chen, who will go on a solo honeymoon to Australia.
4. Chen said her mother had insisted on a groom at first but later jumped aboard the solo marriage plan.

No picture is available, so how about this?